Valentine’s Day comes each year as a reminder to honor the love in our lives. While it can be about candy, flowers and cards for some people, it is a day that helps the world pay attention to relationships. That’s a good reason to be a fan of Feb. 14.
If you are celebrating love, consider extending that celebration to everyone who has offered kindness, friendship, business, referrals, compassion or company to your life. Certainly your spouse or partner deserves a big portion of your attention and consideration on this day. Your children, parents, co-workers, friends, employees and relatives might also like to know you truly care about them too.
Ask yourself how you performed as a loving and caring person during the past year. Is there a relationship you have allowed to go dormant? Is there a friend you haven’t seen in awhile or a relationship that needs reconnection? Is there something you could say, appreciate or ask for that might add a spark to an existing relationship? There is always room to up your game when it comes to being a loving person.
Recently I was feeling a bit unappreciated in my marriage. My husband works long hours and has been nearly killing himself over work during the past months. Because I love him, I really care about his well-being, especially his lack of life balance, and try to make things at home as easy as possible for him. I go out of my way to initiate conversation, take care most of our household details, and give him space to relax when he finally isn’t working. I was also realizing that our relationship was in need of re-balancing. I was feeling hurt that I was killing myself with chores, my book launch, speaking schedule and handling a pet health crisis without ever hearing him ask me what I was struggling with or what I was working on. That felt really bad. I finally let it all out one night over dinner. He probably felt attacked, but he owned what I was saying. By asking him for more, he was more than happy to respond.
Imagine my surprise and delight when my husband started asking me about what I was working on and showed up at one of my local evening speaking events. I felt especially loved and supported by those gestures. Things between us have been much more evenly balanced and happy these days.
I hope you will take my story to heart and allow it to inspire you to ask for what you need in a relationship, especially if you are feeling like you are mostly the giver. It takes both giving and receiving, initiating and following, to make love connect and flow. Perhaps there is a relationship that needs attention in your world. Consider a Valentine call, greeting or conversation as a way to reconnect. Have a little fun with this. Happy Valentine’s Day!