2013: Nora Ephron Is Gone, But Her Lessons for Women Live On

The start of a new year is often a time for looking back even as we look ahead. In all of the “who we lost” presentations on TV and online, is there one you’ll really miss?

My task was to cull the list for NotMoms, but I already knew the one I mourn as though we went for drinks after yoga together.

It’s Nora Ephron. Author, screenwriter, director, producer, journalist and blogger.

Sleepless in Seattle. Silkwood. When Harry Met Sally. You’ve Got Mail. Julie & Julia. Nora turned the story of her own heartbreaking divorce (cheated on by Watergate journalist Carl Bernstein) into Heartburn, casting Meryl Streep as herself and generating a power soundtrack led by Carly Simon. She famously said, “I try to write parts for women that are as complicated and interesting as women actually are.”

Beyond movies, Nora’s sharp humor and wit burst out of her writing in every form. In her final book, she revealed her opinions on aging up front in the title, I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman. Her insights into relationships, life and pop culture went deep. Very deep.

in 2012, we bid farewell to NotMoms whose legacies literally changed our world. 

• Sally Ride, first woman in orbit and the first known LGBT astronaut.

• Julia Child, who brought America’s women out of canned foods and into homemade French cuisine.

• Helen Gurley Brown, the longtime editor who promoted women’s acceptance and understanding of their own sexuality by making Cosmopolitan magazine a de facto sex-guide.

• Camilla Williams, the first African-American woman to appear with a major American opera company. She opened the door for others who are more well known, including Marian Anderson.

Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone, so heed this advice for the New Year from Nora E.: “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”