Beyonce Had the Baby! Poor, Poor Kate

The super-blessed bundle of joy produced by the union of Beyonce and Jay-Z is here at last. Blue Ivy Carter.  I am happy for them both, and I even like the baby’s name (once it was explained to me).  

So what if they remodeled a good part of the hospital’s maternity floor for added security?  I can get into that. Do you really think Jay-Z has no enemies in New York?

Celeb moms rush back to The World so quickly — perhaps Beyonce will take some time before pushing her body and schedule to its previous overloads.  Mariah Carey is looking mighty peaked, if you know what I mean.  In her off time, Lady B might send a note to London, where all pregnancy nosiness must now reside.

It’s been an interesting few days: Beyonce gave birth and Kate Middleton turned 30. Even before this latest pile of who-gives-a-damn news, People magazine’s cover last week read: “Kate at 30 - COUNTDOWN TO BABY!” (The caps and exclamation point are theirs.)

Beyonce knows better than most how hot it is to live under a constant spotlight called WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE A BABY? ARE YOU PREGNANT? DON’T YOU WANT A CHILD? IS THAT A BUMP? HURRY UP!

Now that Blue Ivy has arrived, Britain’s bonnie Kate, bride of Prince William, owns the most popular uterus in the world.

I’ve been trying to imagine who will have that title thrust upon her next, because surely someone will.  After Kate, does anyone in England’s royal family dazzle on this side of the pond? Whose uterus could possibly attract the same level of hype and paparazzi? I keep coming back to Paris Jackson …