The funny thing about warm weather holidays is that people tend to forget that they’re Holidays.
The angst and anxiety of Christmas and New Year’s takes about 10 weeks from ramp up to blowing out the last candle. They get all the attention. Caroling, turkey, presents, resolutions, old friends, special foods and rituals.
Memorial Day, July Fourth, Labor Day….not so much.
For many NotMoms, the truth is that the same family drama they dread in December is waiting by the barbecue grill in July. And as usual, alcohol makes things so much more fun. Even so, it’s easy to look forward to the event and hope once more that this time, things will be different.
Is it your mother, or perhaps an aunt who’s prone to making inappropriate, prying and ultimately, disrespectful comments? Increasingly, women are telling me about fathers who mean well but make no pretense at being pleased that they’ll never be called “Granddad”.
Of course, you know better than anyone exactly who in your circle is most likely to spark a different kind of fireworks by hurting your feelings or, well, pissing you off on Independence Day. Will you truly be able to say that you were “caught by surprise”?
Prep yourself, just in case. Your goal is to offer a response to unsolicited rudeness without provoking or sustaining an argument, Consider how you will speak your truth, re-affirm your boundaries and enjoy the party.